Woman in the Mirror

Yesterday I was slammed in the face with my past and was not ready for it...

I went with the Boys to Elijah James' party at McDonald's and another Mother that was there was a woman I had worked with before and not had such a great time with....and when I approached her with smiles and kind words she acted cold and icy and quite mean, and stuck her nose in the air as if I was non existent....now normally this would bug the hell out of me, throw me off and make the event non enjoyable, but although caught off guard at first by it all, I maintained normalcy and threw myself into the fun and found myself amongst beautiful children taking pictures....

A man she had been with at the time I knew her caused alot of issues for me and a best friend I had at the time, the best friend was a guy, Jayson's best man at our Wedding actually, and I had never done anything to her, but I guess someone else's lies when believed can have the affect the enemy is looking for and cause rifts like the one she had for me yesterday...

It is never nice to be lied about, or to be treated as if you have some disease either but I was not there for her, and what I noticed about myself, if that I have had growth in the sense that I was able to push it aside instead it becoming another 'why is she so mean and hurtful to me?' obsession....It was rather refreshing!

To me that is huge, I mean ya I am talking about it here, but it is not like I am in this oh my goodness I have to make her like me and ugh kind of thing, I was able to let it go and just be...

When I came home I uploaded about 180 pictures into my facebook albums LOL...

And then I saw Aphra's status....Myron's Mother had passed away yesterday, him and James are there right now for their visit, my heart goes out to them all big time, and I realized as Aphra were playing Wall Tag LOL....that life is so incredibly short, and I am thankful that I am no longer obsessing about small things, because that is just a waste of precious time, and a distraction of moments that are priceless...

"If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change..."

Some of my Favorite Shots from Yesterday:

100th!!!

Boy oh Boy I did it, 100 Posts!

Lately my life has been full of revelations, and complete honesty...

It has been almost too overwhelming at times to experience my current transformation, and also it excites me, and yes it all also makes me afraid of losing my sense of self? But then I ask myself, was that really me to begin with?

The Song 'You Found Me' by The Fray has become one of my favorites, I listen to it often, and yes right now as I type this...

The first line I love:

'I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad...'

When I hear that song, I want to cry, and smile all at the same time...

When I was 24 something really horrible happened to me, and since then in 3 years I have come 1000 x a 1000 miles from who I once was....

But it hasn't all been flying high at the top of the mountain type moments either, when God remolds the clay, he has to reshape it, add water, and it is painful and exciting, and in my opinion so worth it...

I now know what the term 'growing pains' means...

This month God brought back everyone who had ventured off into the world, I hadn't seen some of them in over a year or more, and I felt overwhelmed with joy, and immediately with sorrow, because I knew they would all be leaving again...but this time bitterness stayed away, tears were not in high precipitation, and the bonds felt so warm and true when they left...and I was so thankful, instead of feeling sorry for myself and being sad to be all alone again...

God is so good to me...

99th Post!